QUID HAS RETURNED. If you’re a fan of this rag and Quid’s humble whining, rejoice. AI can never do to the English language what Quid can, and so Quid is back. If you’ve never set eyes on Quid’s mastery of misery and gossip, hold on tight.

QUID HAS HEARD that the June 2026 Tina Peters And The Wolf Award for You Can’t Make This Schtick Up Conspiracy Scheme goes to former Aurora Councilmember Danielle Jurinsky. Seems the famed local election denier and Trumpese Act star has resumed her Facebook musings about everything she dislikes about all things liberal and Democratic. In a post last week that could get her nominated to head the Trump Department of Justice, now Detective Jurinsky proclaimed an “ah-ha” proof of election rigging, inside her very own home! As happens there every year during a primary election, the postal carrier delivered three ballots to the three registered voters where Jurinsky says she lives. Two voters in the house are registered Republicans and one is unaffiliated, she foreshadowed. But wait! Inspector Jurinsky surmised that one of the return envelopes is a different color than the other two! (Insert three-note scary score here) “Are Republican ballots being flagged?“ Jurinsky queried, sounding the alarm to her fellow Trumpateers. In less time than it takes for Dozy Don to accuse Democrats of stealing another election, Arapahoe County election officials, run by Democrat Joan Lopez, replied back that, indeed, the return envelopes are color coded. Voila! However, it’s to speed up counting and ensure that unaffiliated voters, allowed by law to vote either a Republican primary ballot or a Democratic primary ballot, don’t vote both. The colored-envelopes ensure nobody cheats, accidentally or on purpose. Not only does the fabled Tren de Aragua, “they’re taking over our city” conspiracist get the Tina Tony for June, she takes home the Summer Emily Litella “Never Mind” prize this month. “The Clerk and Recorder’s office provided more context in the comments section,” she concludes in her post. The conspiracy has spread like measles to other scienceless social media victims.

AND QUID HAS HEARD that Aurora’s Roastest with  the Mostest, Michael  Hancock, tripped while walking the walk and double-talking the talk when it comes to the city’s unruly lawmakers making rules about just how rude they can be to the public and each other. No not that Michael Hancock. The one married to Aurora Councilmember Stephanie Hancock and who writes on a need-to-know basis for the Phil Anschutz Colorado Springs and Denver Gazette website. If you “need to know” something they publish, you need to give them cash to get past their paywall to be enlightened by Msr. Hancock on things like “Aurora needs a city council, not group therapy.” While the Colorado Springs paper points out that M. Hancock has had a lot of jobs in the past, qualifying him to rag on Aurora Democrats, the one thing they don’t tell readers is that he’s married to a sitting Republican Councilmember. Quid assumes they believe you don’t need to know that, so your faithful affiant is offering it up for free. Also not revealed is that M. Hancock sat through a recent discussion of city council’s proposed “public decorum” policy. The play nice efforts come after years of cringy slurs and revile-ations launched at and by the public and fellow lawmakers linked to just about everything. At one point in the meeting, while a very local vocal activist was talking about free speech and stuff, M. Hancock began with the eyerolling he laments in his columns and then called the activist an “asshole.” When he got called out for the slur, he said, “Oops, did I?” Unlike some who say it in writing, the cameras that were rolling don’t lie.

And that’s all the news that fits.

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